apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
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The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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