I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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