Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
