Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
