worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
