I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize