Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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