Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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