i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
