I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
