sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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