Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize
