I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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