I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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