you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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