its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
