I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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