For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
