We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
