did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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