He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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