just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
