drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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