Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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