how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You are a genius and a whore.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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