I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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