im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
