I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
