we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wish there were birth control emojis
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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