bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
