im drinking this country out of the recession.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My feet surprised me
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