im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
