Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
