That's intense
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
