i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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