If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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