Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
