its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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