well you can't waste a boner
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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