went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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