Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
