Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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