i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
