Well apparently he's into motor boating.
there's paper in my vomit.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
