The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
