I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize