i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
where are my eyebrows?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
