so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
