# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
