I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize