I look better un-naked...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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