I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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