I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
