I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Couch. On fire.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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