and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
