Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize