Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
