Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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