I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
