Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
