He uses pillows to masturbate.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
