doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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