Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
